First home: Bobby's cybernetic arm. Tight squeeze for such a big personality. 

New home: Legacy bot with physical capacity to do deep squats and side lunges. (Hot.)

Favorite past times: Using unapproved vernacular, chewing on foil gum wrappers, and pointing out Bobby's hormone levels at inappropriate times.


"Humans are dirty liars. They lure you in with tasty foil and then they kill you." 

"...the female gender is straightforward, probably uncomplicated, and easy to understand."

"You telling me you don't want that girl's face to touch yours?"

Haywire Task Assistant seeks energetic woman with kissable lips for studying human emotion, lunges, and maybe more ...

When you trip over love, it is easy to get up. But when you fall in love, it is impossible to stand again.

        -Some smart human from pre-Warp Era

Hello ladies! I'm learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?

I'm a special kind of smart bot, who wants nothing more than to experience the human love emotion with the right woman.

The first thing people usually notice about me is my charming personality, closely followed by my lithe, wiry frame. I'm the man for you, if you like great set of goggled eyes and a squat, cylindrical head.

I spend my time as a Task Assistant, helping my human pal, Bobby, discover what it means to be human. This allows me to exercise my skills: pointing out hormone levels at the worst times and giving terrible—if not well-intentioned—advice about the female gender.

My life goals include:

  • Meet another bot as intelligent as me

  • Fall in love with you

  • Become the best Task Assistant I can be

  • Help Bobby touch faces with Jen

If you're the right woman for me, you'll be energetic and appreciate my good sense of humor. You won't be afraid to dance and will have a healthy respect for my status as the universe’s first … well, I’ll tell you about that later.

My ideal date would involve a romantic, foil dinner and lunges in the stars with a human woman by my side. While we're there, I’ll admire your kissable lips while feeling I'm the luckiest bot on any planet.

So long, and I hope to fall in love with you soon.

I won’t want to stand again, babe


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